3.发送作文批改结果

更新于2025-07-08

|阅读量:

开放接口-系列：

1.开放平台说明

2.创建作文批改

3.发送作文批改结果

4.查询作文详情

发送作文批改结果

作文批改耗时较长，批改完成后会发送post请求到此url，收到后，请回复200状态，其他任何状态视为未收到消息，未收到消息将在后续每3秒通知一次，一共通知10次，成功收到回复后不再通知

HTTP 方法：post
请求地址
1
https:回调URL
Body：

字段名	类型	描述
ocr_text	object	OCR识别结果，包含图片列表及文字信息
pangpi	object	旁批信息，包含句子评价和建议
title	string	作文标题
content	string	修正前的作文内容
wrong_words	object	错误词汇信息，包含错误类型和修正建议
correct_words	string	修正后的作文内容
pigai	object	批改建议（整体评价、修改建议、亮点分析等）
runse	object	优化后的作文内容及解释说明

ocr_text对象细节

字段名	类型	描述
img_list	array	图片对象列表，每个对象包含：
		- url：图片URL
		- width：宽度
		- height：高度
		- columns：array,包含多个列对象。每个列对象代表图片中的一列文字。

ocr_text-img_list-columns对象细节

字段名	类型	描述
left	number	列左边距
right	number	列右边距
column	number	array,包含多个文字。每个代表图片中的一个文字。该列表中含有两层数组，分别对应行、字

ocr_text-img_list-columns-column细节

示例：[“长”, 595, 297, 27, 39]
分别代表：文字内容、left/top/width/height
多个文字组成一行，多行组成一列，多列组成一张图片，多张图片组成一个作文图片组

pangpi对象细节

字段名	类型	描述
commit_items	array	旁批项数组（每个项为旁批对象）
commit_total	string	旁批总结性评价

pangpi-commit_items对象细节

字段名	类型	描述
line	array	3层数组，页-列-行，行坐标格式为：[left1,top1,height1,right2,top2,height2]
commit	string	旁批内容
position	number	在原文中的起始位置
good_or_bad	string	good/bad，表示优秀或糟糕的句子
origin_sentence	string	修正后的原文内容
matched_sentence	string	修正前原文内容

wrong_words数组细节

字段名	类型	描述
错误索引	array	包含错误类型、位置索引、建议词汇等信息
错误类型	string	错误类型（如“i”=插入，“d”=删除，“m”=修改）
错误位置索引	int	错误在作文中的位置
建议正确词汇	string	修正建议（可能为空）

pigai对象细节

字段名	类型	描述
score	int	作文评分
score_items	string	作文评分明细
title	string	作文标题
title_reason	string	标题修改原因
first_p	string	修改开头
first_p_reason	string	开头修改原因
last_p	string	修改结尾
last_p_reason	string	结尾修改原因
modify	string	建议
comment	string	评价
outline	string	结构
highlights	string	亮点
paragraphs	array	逐段点评
suggestions	string	建议
requirements	string	写作要求
questions	array	提问

runse对象细节

字段名	类型	描述
title	string	优化后的作文标题
content	string	优化后的作文内容
explain	string	优化内容的解释说明

3. 返回响应

HTTP状态码：200（表示接收成功）。

示例

{
  "zuowen_id":"6p5zUOn",
  "status": "1",
  "ocr_text": "{\"img_list\": [{\"url\": \"https://shenbi-bos.cdn.bcebos.com/zuoye/704849/2025/6/26/1750888395075.jpg\", \"width\": 864, \"height\": 1920, \"columns\": [{\"left\": 48, \"right\": 862, \"column\": [[[\"长\", 595, 297, 27, 39], [\"兴\", 625, 296, 44, 40], [\"南\", 672, 296, 40, 39], [\"街\", 715, 296, 41, 39], [\"学\", 759, 295, 44, 40], [\"校\", 806, 295, 49, 39]], [[\"题\", 159, 388, 18, 23], [\"目\", 178, 388, 22, 22], [\":\", 201, 387, 11, 23]], [[\"少\", 356, 374, 21, 32], [\"年\", 378, 372, 31, 33], [\"游\", 410, 369, 44, 34]], [[\"欲\", 186, 419, 22, 35], [\"买\", 209, 416, 36, 36], [\"桂\", 246, 414, 30, 35], [\"花\", 277, 412, 26, 35], [\"同\", 303, 409, 42, 36], [\"载\", 346, 407, 26, 35], [\"酒\", 372, 404, 36, 36], [\",\", 409, 402, 31, 35], [\"终\", 441, 399, 36, 36], [\"不\", 477, 397, 32, 35], [\"似\", 509, 394, 36, 36], [\",\", 546, 392, 31, 35], [\"少\", 578, 389, 36, 36], [\"年\", 614, 387, 32, 35], [\"游\", 646, 384, 36, 36], [\"。\", 683, 382, 31, 35]], [[\"—\", 682, 423, 17, 34], [\"题\", 699, 423, 59, 34], [\"记\", 761, 423, 35, 34]], [[\"临\", 183, 499, 25, 40], [\"汾\", 209, 497, 30, 40], [\"城\", 240, 495, 36, 40], [\"下\", 277, 493, 30, 40], [\"的\", 308, 492, 30, 39], [\"小\", 339, 489, 36, 40], [\"院\", 376, 487, 36, 40], [\"别\", 413, 485, 30, 40], [\"有\", 444, 484, 30, 39], [\"一\", 475, 481, 35, 40], [\"番\", 511, 479, 36, 40], [\"风\", 548, 477, 37, 40], [\"味\", 586, 475, 29, 40], [\",\", 616, 473, 31, 40], [\"外\", 648, 471, 41, 40], [\"婆\", 690, 469, 36, 40], [\"家\", 727, 466, 37, 40], [\"在\", 765, 464, 37, 40]], [[\"那\", 111, 546, 26, 39], [\"有\", 138, 544, 34, 39], [\"一\", 173, 543, 34, 39], [\"方\", 208, 541, 33, 39], [\"小\", 242, 539, 34, 39], [\"院\", 277, 537, 33, 39], [\",\", 311, 535, 29, 39], [\"小\", 341, 534, 32, 38], [\"时\", 374, 532, 34, 39], [\"候\", 409, 530, 33, 39], [\"我\", 443, 528, 34, 39], [\"常\", 478, 526, 34, 39], [\"去\", 513, 524, 40, 39], [\"那\", 554, 522, 27, 39], [\"里\", 582, 520, 40, 39], [\"玩\", 624, 518, 33, 39], [\"。\", 659, 516, 29, 39], [\"走\", 689, 514, 38, 39], [\"老\", 728, 512, 41, 39], [\"街\", 770, 510, 36, 39]], [[\"过\", 106, 591, 30, 35], [\"回\", 137, 590, 29, 35], [\"巷\", 167, 587, 38, 36], [\",\", 206, 586, 28, 35], [\"随\", 235, 584, 40, 36], [\"我\", 276, 583, 25, 34], [\"来\", 302, 581, 34, 35], [\"一\", 337, 579, 33, 35], [\"场\", 371, 577, 39, 35], [\"少\", 411, 575, 29, 35], [\"年\", 441, 574, 34, 35], [\"游\", 476, 572, 38, 35], [\"。\", 515, 570, 27, 35]], [[\"小\", 179, 626, 23, 39], [\"村\", 204, 625, 30, 38], [\"庄\", 236, 624, 36, 38], [\"夏\", 274, 622, 29, 38], [\"日\", 304, 621, 37, 38], [\"的\", 342, 619, 30, 38], [\"傍\", 374, 618, 36, 38], [\"晚\", 411, 616, 30, 39], [\",\", 443, 615, 31, 38], [\"是\", 475, 613, 41, 39], [\"我\", 518, 612, 30, 38], [\"心\", 549, 610, 37, 39], [\"中\", 587, 608, 36, 39], [\"独\", 625, 607, 30, 38], [\"一\", 656, 605, 37, 39], [\"份\", 694, 604, 36, 38], [\"的\", 731, 603, 30, 38], [\"美\", 763, 601, 44, 38]], [[\"好\", 103, 673, 26, 39], [\"—\", 131, 672, 41, 39], [\"—\", 174, 671, 21, 39], [\"静\", 197, 670, 30, 39], [\"谧\", 229, 668, 40, 40], [\"而\", 271, 667, 34, 39], [\"不\", 307, 666, 26, 39], [\"清\", 335, 664, 40, 40], [\"冷\", 377, 663, 33, 39], [\",\", 412, 662, 28, 39], [\"秀\", 442, 660, 39, 39], [\"丽\", 483, 659, 26, 39], [\"而\", 511, 657, 40, 40], [\"不\", 553, 656, 33, 39], [\"妖\", 587, 655, 34, 39], [\"艳\", 623, 654, 33, 39], [\"。\", 658, 652, 36, 39], [\"落\", 696, 651, 37, 39], [\"日\", 735, 649, 34, 39], [\"余\", 771, 648, 36, 39]], [[\"晖\", 102, 720, 25, 38], [\"映\", 129, 718, 34, 39], [\"在\", 165, 717, 33, 38], [\"天\", 200, 716, 34, 38], [\"边\", 236, 715, 26, 38], [\",\", 264, 713, 38, 39], [\"将\", 304, 712, 37, 38], [\"湛\", 342, 711, 34, 38], [\"蓝\", 378, 710, 26, 38], [\"的\", 406, 708, 34, 39], [\"天\", 442, 707, 34, 38], [\"边\", 477, 706, 41, 38], [\"染\", 520, 705, 27, 38], [\"成\", 548, 703, 34, 39], [\"耀\", 584, 702, 41, 38], [\"眼\", 627, 701, 33, 38], [\"的\", 662, 699, 34, 38], [\"☰\", 698, 698, 33, 38], [\"火\", 733, 697, 34, 38], [\"红\", 769, 695, 44, 39]], [[\"而\", 832, 733, 30, 37]], [[\"老\", 99, 764, 27, 39], [\"一\", 128, 763, 34, 39], [\"辈\", 164, 761, 34, 40], [\"人\", 200, 761, 27, 39], [\"常\", 229, 760, 34, 39], [\"说\", 265, 758, 33, 40], [\"顺\", 301, 757, 34, 40], [\"水\", 337, 756, 34, 40], [\"顺\", 373, 755, 33, 40], [\"财\", 409, 754, 34, 40], [\",\", 445, 753, 36, 40], [\"村\", 483, 752, 31, 40], [\"子\", 517, 751, 34, 40], [\"临\", 553, 750, 34, 40], [\"溪\", 589, 749, 33, 40], [\"而\", 625, 748, 34, 40], [\"建\", 661, 747, 41, 40], [\",\", 704, 746, 29, 39], [\"溪\", 735, 744, 46, 40], [\"边\", 783, 743, 37, 40]], [[\"老\", 94, 810, 26, 39], [\"柳\", 122, 809, 34, 39], [\"树\", 159, 808, 33, 40], [\"与\", 195, 807, 34, 40], [\"水\", 231, 807, 33, 39], [\"中\", 266, 806, 28, 39], [\"倒\", 296, 805, 33, 39], [\"影\", 331, 804, 34, 40], [\"相\", 368, 804, 33, 39], [\"映\", 404, 803, 40, 39], [\"成\", 446, 802, 28, 39], [\"趣\", 476, 801, 33, 39], [\"。\", 511, 800, 44, 40], [\"那\", 557, 799, 32, 40], [\"汪\", 591, 799, 33, 39], [\"清\", 627, 798, 41, 39], [\"澈\", 670, 797, 34, 39], [\"的\", 706, 796, 27, 39], [\"水\", 735, 795, 40, 40], [\",\", 778, 794, 37, 40]], [[\"跃\", 90, 861, 28, 35], [\"过\", 120, 860, 32, 36], [\"风\", 154, 859, 33, 36], [\"洗\", 189, 858, 38, 36], [\"的\", 229, 857, 28, 36], [\"群\", 259, 856, 32, 36], [\"山\", 293, 855, 33, 36], [\",\", 328, 854, 27, 36], [\"渐\", 357, 853, 44, 36], [\"渐\", 403, 852, 38, 36], [\"淌\", 443, 851, 33, 36], [\"向\", 478, 850, 32, 36], [\"远\", 512, 849, 38, 36], [\"方\", 553, 848, 33, 36], [\"…\", 588, 848, 27, 35], [\"…\", 617, 846, 50, 37]], [[\"村\", 160, 904, 25, 41], [\"旁\", 188, 903, 38, 41], [\"那\", 228, 903, 30, 41], [\"条\", 261, 902, 31, 41], [\"小\", 295, 901, 31, 41], [\"河\", 328, 901, 37, 41], [\",\", 368, 900, 25, 41], [\"是\", 396, 899, 50, 42], [\"我\", 448, 899, 31, 41], [\"儿\", 482, 898, 37, 41], [\"时\", 522, 897, 37, 41], [\"来\", 562, 897, 30, 41], [\"去\", 595, 896, 31, 41], [\"村\", 629, 895, 37, 42], [\"子\", 669, 895, 37, 41], [\"的\", 709, 894, 37, 41], [\"必\", 749, 893, 30, 41], [\"仅\", 782, 892, 46, 42]], [[\"经\", 83, 955, 34, 41], [\"之\", 120, 955, 27, 41], [\"路\", 150, 954, 35, 41], [\"。\", 188, 954, 36, 41], [\"登\", 227, 953, 33, 41], [\"上\", 262, 953, 35, 40], [\"河\", 300, 952, 35, 41], [\"边\", 338, 952, 27, 40], [\"小\", 368, 951, 35, 41], [\"船\", 406, 951, 34, 40], [\",\", 443, 950, 37, 41], [\"木\", 483, 950, 32, 40], [\"船\", 518, 949, 35, 41], [\"踏\", 556, 949, 34, 40], [\"上\", 593, 948, 35, 41], [\"去\", 631, 947, 35, 41], [\"吱\", 669, 947, 41, 41], [\"呀\", 713, 946, 35, 41], [\"作\", 751, 946, 35, 40], [\"响\", 789, 945, 45, 41]], [[\"船\", 81, 1004, 28, 44], [\"桨\", 112, 1004, 42, 44], [\"划\", 157, 1003, 27, 44], [\"过\", 187, 1003, 34, 44], [\"水\", 224, 1003, 35, 44], [\"面\", 262, 1002, 34, 44], [\"发\", 299, 1002, 27, 44], [\"出\", 329, 1001, 35, 45], [\"噔\", 367, 1001, 79, 44], [\"的\", 449, 1000, 35, 44], [\"声\", 487, 1000, 27, 44], [\"响\", 517, 1000, 34, 44], [\",\", 554, 999, 36, 44], [\"在\", 594, 999, 40, 44], [\"静\", 637, 998, 27, 44], [\"谧\", 667, 998, 41, 44], [\"的\", 712, 997, 35, 44], [\"水\", 750, 997, 34, 44], [\"河\", 787, 997, 43, 44]], [[\"上\", 78, 1053, 27, 45], [\"尤\", 109, 1053, 34, 45], [\"为\", 147, 1053, 41, 45], [\"清\", 192, 1052, 27, 45], [\"晰\", 222, 1052, 34, 45], [\"悦\", 260, 1052, 33, 45], [\"耳\", 297, 1051, 35, 45], [\"。\", 335, 1051, 27, 45], [\"我\", 366, 1051, 41, 45], [\"乘\", 410, 1050, 27, 45], [\"的\", 440, 1050, 35, 45], [\"小\", 478, 1050, 42, 45], [\"木\", 523, 1049, 34, 45], [\"船\", 560, 1049, 35, 45], [\",\", 599, 1049, 34, 45], [\"穿\", 637, 1048, 40, 45], [\"过\", 681, 1048, 27, 45], [\"座\", 711, 1047, 42, 46], [\"座\", 756, 1047, 34, 45], [\"高\", 793, 1047, 37, 45]], [[\"h\", 847, 1048, 15, 23]], [[\"峰\", 73, 1107, 28, 43], [\",\", 104, 1107, 36, 43], [\"仰\", 144, 1107, 32, 42], [\"面\", 179, 1107, 35, 42], [\"数\", 217, 1106, 27, 43], [\"着\", 248, 1106, 42, 43], [\"天\", 293, 1106, 35, 43], [\"上\", 331, 1106, 34, 42], [\"的\", 368, 1106, 35, 42], [\"点\", 406, 1106, 35, 42], [\"点\", 444, 1105, 35, 43], [\"星\", 482, 1105, 35, 43], [\"空\", 520, 1105, 34, 43], [\",\", 557, 1105, 37, 42], [\"耳\", 598, 1105, 39, 42], [\"边\", 640, 1104, 35, 43], [\"水\", 678, 1104, 35, 43], [\"声\", 716, 1104, 42, 43], [\"沙\", 762, 1104, 34, 42], [\"沙\", 799, 1104, 30, 42]], [[\"作\", 68, 1159, 29, 44], [\"响\", 100, 1159, 35, 43], [\",\", 138, 1158, 30, 44], [\"岸\", 172, 1158, 40, 44], [\"边\", 216, 1158, 36, 44], [\"小\", 255, 1158, 35, 44], [\"店\", 293, 1158, 35, 44], [\"灯\", 332, 1158, 35, 44], [\"火\", 371, 1158, 35, 44], [\"通\", 409, 1158, 36, 44], [\"明\", 448, 1158, 28, 43], [\",\", 479, 1157, 38, 44], [\"生\", 520, 1157, 41, 44], [\"意\", 564, 1157, 27, 44], [\"虽\", 595, 1157, 43, 44], [\"☰\", 642, 1157, 35, 44], [\"不\", 681, 1157, 35, 44], [\"是\", 719, 1157, 35, 44], [\"兴\", 757, 1157, 36, 44], [\"隆\", 797, 1156, 45, 44]], [[\"(\", 854, 1165, 8, 4]], [[\"却\", 63, 1211, 28, 44], [\"给\", 95, 1211, 43, 44], [\"人\", 142, 1211, 27, 45], [\"一\", 173, 1211, 35, 45], [\"种\", 212, 1211, 35, 45], [\"温\", 251, 1211, 35, 45], [\"薪\", 290, 1211, 28, 45], [\"之\", 322, 1211, 42, 45], [\"感\", 368, 1211, 36, 45], [\",\", 408, 1211, 37, 45], [\"这\", 449, 1211, 33, 45], [\"幅\", 486, 1211, 28, 45], [\"画\", 517, 1211, 43, 45], [\"面\", 564, 1211, 35, 45], [\"也\", 603, 1211, 43, 45], [\"成\", 650, 1211, 27, 45], [\"为\", 681, 1211, 35, 45], [\"我\", 720, 1211, 35, 45], [\"儿\", 759, 1211, 44, 45], [\"时\", 806, 1211, 37, 45]], [[\"一\", 67, 1262, 29, 47], [\"份\", 99, 1262, 33, 48], [\"不\", 136, 1263, 32, 47], [\"可\", 172, 1263, 37, 48], [\"磨\", 212, 1263, 37, 48], [\"灭\", 252, 1264, 33, 47], [\"的\", 289, 1264, 32, 48], [\"回\", 325, 1265, 41, 47], [\"忆\", 369, 1265, 33, 48], [\"。\", 406, 1266, 31, 47]], [[\"来\", 134, 1320, 29, 48], [\"到\", 167, 1321, 32, 47], [\"村\", 202, 1321, 39, 48], [\"里\", 245, 1321, 39, 48], [\",\", 287, 1322, 33, 47], [\"伴\", 324, 1322, 39, 48], [\"着\", 367, 1322, 31, 48], [\"点\", 402, 1322, 40, 48], [\"点\", 446, 1323, 39, 48], [\"星\", 488, 1323, 39, 48], [\"光\", 531, 1323, 32, 48], [\",\", 566, 1324, 40, 48], [\"我\", 610, 1324, 32, 48], [\"伏\", 645, 1324, 39, 48], [\"在\", 688, 1325, 32, 47], [\"溪\", 724, 1325, 47, 48], [\"边\", 774, 1325, 25, 48], [\"将\", 803, 1326, 46, 47]], [[\"手\", 50, 1378, 30, 50], [\"探\", 84, 1378, 36, 50], [\"进\", 124, 1378, 37, 50], [\"水\", 164, 1378, 37, 50], [\"中\", 205, 1379, 36, 50], [\",\", 245, 1379, 29, 50], [\"清\", 278, 1379, 44, 50], [\"凉\", 326, 1379, 36, 50], [\"的\", 366, 1380, 37, 50], [\"溪\", 407, 1380, 37, 50], [\"水\", 448, 1380, 36, 50], [\"沁\", 488, 1380, 36, 50], [\"人\", 528, 1380, 37, 50], [\"心\", 569, 1381, 36, 50], [\"脾\", 609, 1381, 36, 50], [\",\", 649, 1381, 37, 50], [\"打\", 690, 1381, 45, 50], [\"碎\", 738, 1382, 28, 49], [\"了\", 770, 1382, 45, 50], [\"来\", 819, 1382, 38, 50]], [[\"时\", 48, 1437, 28, 48], [\"路\", 80, 1437, 37, 48], [\"上\", 121, 1438, 37, 48], [\"的\", 161, 1438, 29, 48], [\"睡\", 194, 1438, 85, 48], [\"虫\", 283, 1439, 37, 48], [\"。\", 324, 1439, 30, 48], [\"这\", 357, 1439, 44, 48], 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  "correct_words": "题目：少年游\n\n  题记：临汾城下的小院别有一番风味，外婆家在那里有一方小院，小时候我常去那里玩。走老街过回巷，随我来一场少年游。\n\n  小村庄夏日的傍晚，是我心中独一份的美好：静谧而不清冷，秀丽而不妖艳。落日余晖映在天边，将湛蓝的天边染成耀眼的火红。老一辈人常说顺水顺财，村子临溪而建，溪边老柳树与水中倒影相映成趣。那汪清澈的水，跃过风洗的群山，渐渐淌向远方……\n\n  村旁那条小河，是我儿时来往村子的必经之路。登上河边小船，木船踏上去吱呀作响，船桨划过水面发出噔的声响，在静谧的河面上尤为清晰悦耳。我乘的小木船，穿过座座高峰，仰面数着天上的点点星空，耳边水声沙沙作响，岸边小店灯火通明，生意虽不是兴隆，却给人一种温馨之感。这幅画面也成为我儿时一份不可磨灭的回忆。\n\n  来到村里，伴着点点星光，我伏在溪边将手探进水中，清凉的溪水沁人心脾，打碎了来时路上的睡意。这时回头望去，母亲正坐在村口一棵老树下温柔地望我，月光透过树隙间斑驳的空隙，落入母亲眼底，她的眼底便镀上一层光亮。我惊叫起来：“妈妈的眼中有整片星河！”我们对视，笑作一团。\n\n  时光渐渐流逝，我来到太原上学，外婆也将那方小院卖了出去。随着生活节奏的加速，闲暇之余，外婆的那方小院不觉涌入脑海，是时候对童年再回去看看了……\n\n  再次踏入小村，村边的小店换为了高耸的大厦，村口的小溪不知何时被填平，小院也不再是记忆中的样子，窗边落灰的夕阳，似乎也离我越来越远了……",
  "pigai": "{\"score\": 95, \"title\": \"少年游\", \"last_p\": \"再次踏入小村，溪边的老柳树依旧垂着绿丝绦，只是树干又添了几道年轮。外婆站在院门口笑着招手，竹椅上晒着的柿饼还是记忆里的琥珀色。原来少年游从不是回不去的旧时光，它早变成了外婆眼角的皱纹、掌心的温度，藏在每个思念的当下。\", \"modify\": \"1. “穿过座座高峰”与前文“村旁小河”矛盾，小河不可能穿过高峰，改为“绕过青灰色的石桥”更符合乡村小河场景；2. “窗边落灰的夕阳”搭配不当，夕阳不会落灰，改为“窗棂上斜斜的夕阳”更贴切；3. “顺水顺财”与上下文写景氛围不符，删去使段落更连贯。\", \"comment\": \"本文以“少年游”为题，通过回忆外婆家小院的夏日时光，串联起小河行船、溪边嬉水、母亲守望等温馨片段，情感真挚，画面感强。语言清新自然，善于运用感官描写捕捉细节，如水声、星光、母亲眼中的光亮，让童年记忆变得鲜活可触。结尾虽有伤感，但整体基调温暖，展现了少年视角下对故乡与亲情的珍视，是一篇充满生活气息的佳作。\", \"first_p\": \"外婆家的竹篱笆总爬满蓝紫色的牵牛花，像给小院围了条花裙子。小时候每个暑假，我都要踩着老街的青石板去那里，把童年的笑声洒在溪边的老柳树下。今天，就让我带你重游那段闪闪发光的少年时光。\", \"outline\": \"开头：用“外婆家的竹篱笆总爬满牵牛花”这样的具体意象开篇，直接点明小院是“少年游”的起点，比题记更简洁。中间：分三段详写核心场景——1. 午后小院：描写外婆摇着蒲扇晒柿饼，“金黄金黄的果子像小灯笼”，加入“我偷摘柿饼被外婆笑着敲手”的互动；2. 傍晚溪边：保留“母亲眼中有星河”的经典画面，增加“我用柳枝编草帽，母亲帮我别上野雏菊”的细节；3. 夏夜星空：补充“躺在小院竹床上数星星，外婆讲牛郎织女的故事”，让回忆更丰满。结尾：重访时不写“大厦”，而是“竹篱笆换成了新的，但牵牛花还在老地方开着”，用不变的景物呼应初心，点明“少年游一直在心里”的主题。详略上，中间三段详写，开头结尾略写，选材聚焦小院及周边，避免场景过多导致杂乱。\", \"questions\": [\"如果在小船上加入外婆教你唱童谣的情节，会不会让童年回忆更具体？\", \"村口的老树下除了母亲，还有没有其他村民的身影或有趣的小事？\", \"小院里有没有特别的植物或老物件，比如外婆种的月季花、吱呀作响的旧竹椅？\"], \"highlights\": \"这篇作文充满了细腻的童年画面感，尤其“母亲眼底有星河”的描写令人动容：月光透过树隙落入母亲眼中，孩子天真的惊呼与对视的笑声，将亲情与诗意巧妙融合。对小河行船的细节刻画也很生动，“木船吱呀作响”“船桨噔的声响”用听觉还原场景，让读者仿佛身临其境。夏日傍晚的景物描写层次分明，从天边晚霞到溪边柳树，再到水中倒影，由远及近的视角展现了乡村的静谧美好，字里行间满是少年对故乡的眷恋。\", \"paragraphs\": [\"开篇点题：以题记形式点明外婆家小院的背景，“老街回巷”的邀请式语言自然引出下文，简洁却充满画面感。\", \"景物如画：用“静谧而不清冷，秀丽而不妖艳”概括夏日傍晚，晚霞、溪水、老柳树的描写动静结合，展现乡村之美。\", \"童趣盎然：行船细节描写生动，“吱呀作响”“噔的声响”等拟声词让场景活起来，数星空的童真令人莞尔。\", \"温情瞬间：“母亲眼中有星河”是全文亮点，月光、树隙、母亲的温柔眼神，将亲情融入诗意画面，感人至深。\", \"时光流转：简短交代离开与思念，为下文重访做铺垫，“涌入脑海”的表达真实展现回忆的自然浮现。\", \"今昔对比：通过小店变大厦、小溪被填平的描写，流露出对时光流逝的淡淡怅惘，情感真挚。\"], \"suggestions\": \"1. 选材可更聚焦：原文提到“穿过座座高峰”与乡村小河场景矛盾，建议选取更真实的乡村元素，如“绕过青灰色的石桥，桥洞下躲着几只白鸭子”，用具体事物增强画面真实感。2. 细节描写可更深入：“清凉的溪水沁人心脾”较笼统，可改为“溪水漫过手腕时，像有小鱼在指缝间啄痒，惊得我差点坐进水里”，加入触觉和动态描写。3. 情感过渡可更自然：从回忆到重访的转折较突然，建议在“涌入脑海”后加“记得临走时，外婆塞给我的柿饼还带着灶膛的温度”，用味觉细节连接过去与现在。\", \"requirements\": \"《少年游》作为四年级作文，核心是通过少年视角记录一段难忘的经历或回忆，需做到情感真挚、画面具体、语言生动。要求围绕“游”的过程展开，可写景、叙事或抒情，重点展现少年时期的所见所闻所感，体现对生活的观察与感悟。字数控制在400字左右，需结构清晰，有明确的中心场景或事件，避免内容松散，同时鼓励运用比喻、拟人等修辞，让文字充满童趣与感染力。\", \"title_reason\": \"\", \"last_p_reason\": \"原文结尾过于伤感，修改后保留乡村变化的真实感，同时加入外婆的温暖形象和柿饼等细节，以“思念的当下”升华主题，让“少年游”从回忆延伸到现实，更符合四年级学生积极向上的情感表达。\", \"first_p_reason\": \"原文题记稍显冗长，修改后的开头用“竹篱笆爬牵牛花”的具体意象替代抽象描述，“花裙子”的比喻更符合四年级学生的语言风格，“踩着青石板”“笑声洒在柳树下”等动态描写能更快抓住读者注意力，自然引出下文回忆。\"}",
  "runse": "{\"title\": \"少年游\", \"content\": \"外婆家的竹篱笆总爬满蓝紫色的牵牛花，像给小院围了条花裙子。小时候每个暑假，我都要踩着老街的青石板去那里，把童年的笑声洒在溪边的老柳树下。走老街过回巷，随我来一场少年游。\\n小村庄夏日的傍晚，是我心中独一份的美好：静谧而不清冷，秀丽而不妖艳。落日余晖映在天边，将湛蓝的画布染成耀眼的火红。村子临溪而建，溪边老柳树的枝条垂到水面，与水中倒影手拉手跳圆舞曲。那汪清澈的水，绕过风洗的群山，唱着叮咚的歌淌向远方……\\n村旁那条小河，是我儿时的必经之路。登上河边的小木船，船板踩上去“吱呀吱呀”地哼着歌，船桨划过水面发出“噔——”的声响，在静谧的河面上荡开一圈圈涟漪。我伏在船舷边，看小鱼在船底捉迷藏，仰面数着天上的星星，耳边水声沙沙，岸边小店的灯笼亮着暖黄的光，老板娘正低头纳着鞋底，温柔得像幅画。\\n来到村里，伴着点点星光，我蹲在溪边把脚丫伸进水里。清凉的溪水漫过脚踝时，像有小鱼在趾缝间啄痒，惊得我“呀”地跳起来。回头望去，母亲正坐在村口老槐树下，月光透过叶隙织成银纱，落在她含笑的眼底。“妈妈的眼睛里有星星！”我指着她的眼睛笑喊，母亲也笑着揉乱我的头发，我们的笑声惊飞了树梢的夜鸟。\\n时光悄悄溜走，我到太原上学后，外婆家的小院也换了主人。每当放学路过校门口的老槐树，总会想起那个有星星的夜晚。终于在暑假回到小村，溪边的老柳树还在，只是树干又添了几道年轮。外婆站在新主人的院墙外朝我招手，手里提着的竹篮里，躺着几个金黄金黄的柿饼——和小时候她晒在竹匾里的一模一样。\\n原来有些风景会变，但藏在风景里的温暖，早变成了心底永不褪色的少年游。\", \"explain\": \"1. 意象优化：开篇用“竹篱笆爬牵牛花”替代抽象题记，结尾以“柿饼”呼应童年味觉记忆，形成情感闭环。2. 场景真实化：将“穿过座座高峰”改为“看小鱼在船底捉迷藏”，增加“老板娘纳鞋底”等乡村细节，符合小河场景逻辑。3. 感官升级：添加“脚丫伸进水里”“小鱼啄痒”等触觉描写，“吱呀吱呀”“噔——”等拟声词强化听觉，“暖黄灯笼”“银纱月光”细化视觉层次。4. 情感转化：将结尾的伤感转为“温暖永不褪色”，保留“小院易主”的真实，通过外婆的柿饼传递记忆的延续性，符合四年级学生积极的情感表达。5. 语言童趣化：用“手拉手跳圆舞曲”“织成银纱”等拟人比喻，“呀地跳起来”“揉乱头发”等动作细节，贴合少年视角的灵动与纯真。\"}",
  "content": "题目：少年游\n\n  题记：临汾城下的小院别有一番风味，外婆家在那里有一方小院，小时候我常去那里玩。走老街过回巷，随我来一场少年游。\n\n  小村庄夏日的傍晚，是我心中独一份的美好：静谧而不清冷，秀丽而不妖艳。落日余晖映在天边，将湛蓝的天边染成耀眼的火红。老一辈人常说顺水顺财，村子临溪而建，溪边老柳树与水中倒影相映成趣。那汪清澈的水，跃过风洗的群山，渐渐淌向远方……\n\n  村旁那条小河，是我儿时来往村子的必经之路。登上河边小船，木船踏上去吱呀作响，船桨划过水面发出噔的声响，在静谧的河面上尤为清晰悦耳。我乘的小木船，穿过座座高峰，仰面数着天上的点点星空，耳边水声沙沙作响，岸边小店灯火通明，生意虽不是兴隆，却给人一种温馨之感。这幅画面也成为我儿时一份不可磨灭的回忆。\n\n  来到村里，伴着点点星光，我伏在溪边将手探进水中，清凉的溪水沁人心脾，打碎了来时路上的睡意。这时回头望去，母亲正坐在村口一棵老树下温柔地望我，月光透过树隙间斑驳的空隙，落入母亲眼底，她的眼底便镀上一层光亮。我惊叫起来：“妈妈的眼中有整片星河！”我们对视，笑作一团。\n\n  时光渐渐流逝，我来到太原上学，外婆也将那方小院卖了出去。随着生活节奏的加速，闲暇之余，外婆的那方小院不觉涌入脑海，是时候对童年再回去看看了……\n\n  再次踏入小村，村边的小店换为了高耸的大厦，村口的小溪不知何时被填平，小院也不再是记忆中的样子，窗边落灰的夕阳，似乎也离我越来越远了……",
  "title": "题目：少年游"
}

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